Issue sixteen – May 1st 2012

Culture is not your friend!

Issue sixteen – May 1st 2012

April 28th. I was asked to help a relative who is being hospitalized, and witness how the sudden change of the health of the body, reality changes so drastically that events we had visualized in our near future so vividly are now disintegrated and look like a vague dream at the most. In another city there is an exhibition opening I had planned to be at. The theme of this exhibition relates to history, the past, the present and the future of a certain idea. Back in the house where I am at the moment, the person I help is asleep now, and it gives me time to think and process that theme.

It’s pretty dark. The only light comes from the television that I had turned on for some reason. I do not own a television set at home and I am staring at a young man who runs for his life from a group of soldiers. It’s a movie, but it probably happened before at some point in history. I can never know, but I choose to believe so. History is irrelevant most of the time. It is mythology that we choose to remember and tell the stories of. We cannot grasp the complete truth even as it is unfolding in front of us, and some times we don’t even want to do so. Our stories afterwards will be twisted and bent, and even as I am writing down about this even that I am describing, I start to think about the missing parts of the story; parts that seem less important but can be heard with the same weight as the main details of the story, and parts I do not even remember. I turn the television off and sit in complete darkness. There is silence around me, and I sit still and close my eyes. I remember where I left the remote control on the table. My hand finds it in few seconds, and in this complete darkness I push it hard against the table, feeling how its structure is going to collapse, should I add just a little more pressure. I then leave it and put my hand back on my legs. Maybe, just maybe, in this dead still silence and utter darkness, with my eyes closed, maybe this didn’t happen at all.

Baldruin – Nachfalter
Dream Affair – Endless Days
Leva – La cascade de la montagne de l’aube
The Montreal Nintendo Orkestar – D-Rated: The Dinosaur Sex videos – Part one
Troy Schafer – Evening song awaken
War / Lust for youth – The Glass House Etiquette

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